Strangely optimistic.
6 (14.6%)

Horny.
9 (22.0%)

Like I may have a urinary tract infection.
2 (4.9%)

Agitated.
5 (12.2%)

Hungry for brains.
5 (12.2%)

Antsy and like I need more coffee.
5 (12.2%)

Shiny like a pony.
9 (22.0%)

I totally bawled like a baby when I heard the tragic news.
1 (2.5%)

I listened to MJ all this week and it just made me depressed.
2 (5.0%)

I listened to MJ all this week and it gave me an infection.
5 (12.5%)

I always thought Prince was better.
15 (37.5%)

He's not really gone, he's just planning Thriller II: Resurrection.
17 (42.5%)

CLONE HIM
3 (7.3%)

Build our own racially super-human creation that morphs into 3+ ethnicities in the spanse of his career!
0 (0.0%)

Give Grandpa Jackson a whip to start training little Prince Michael Jr. into generation #2 of unholy psychological devastation and child labor supreme!
11 (26.8%)

Bleach Janet
11 (26.8%)

Pills
16 (39.0%)

I am a vegetarian and therefore disgusted by myself.
3 (7.3%)

I am positive I would be delicious and unable to resist myself.
13 (31.7%)

I would, with some ketchup!
6 (14.6%)

THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, YOU OFFEND MY GRUMPY MONDAY MIND
1 (2.4%)

ONLY WITH CREAM CHEESE
18 (43.9%)

I am limitlessly sexy how could I resist myself?
8 (19.5%)

I think that would be weird, but so weird I'd HAVE to try it.
13 (31.7%)

Only if I took me out to dinner first.
3 (7.3%)

Of course I would because I could give myself my ultimate fantasy beej!
5 (12.2%)

I don't think I could get it up.
12 (29.3%)

So 1990.
1 (2.4%)

Still fucking entertaining.
11 (26.8%)

The place I work out my angst since I don't know how to communicate with people directly.
0 (0.0%)

A place to post vagina pictures.
3 (7.3%)

This allows me to be creepy and follow others while at a distance from law enforcement.
5 (12.2%)

I AM A WRITER, THIS IS WHERE I DO MY WRITING, I'M LIKE THE JACK KERUOAC OF THE INTERNET SUPER HIGHWAY, NO FREALZ.
3 (7.3%)

I don't take it too seriously, I post nonsense that is most just entertaining to me.
6 (14.6%)

All of the above.
12 (29.3%)

The Jonas Brothers
12 (29.3%)

Oprah
2 (4.9%)

Bristol Palin
10 (24.4%)

Marley (the fucking dog)
1 (2.4%)

Jon & Kate Plus Eight
2 (4.9%)

Ashley's Mom
14 (34.1%)

Even more horny.
7 (17.1%)

All lubed up.
1 (2.4%)

Radiohead - Optimistic
3 (7.3%)

Violated.
1 (2.4%)

An itchy/burning feeling only Summer's Eve can take care of.
2 (4.9%)

Mormon.
2 (4.9%)

Like I need a new pair of pants.
6 (14.6%)

Turds.
4 (9.8%)

Ready to fight someone.
6 (14.6%)

Delicious.
9 (22.0%)

Good morning sir.
6 (13.0%)

Good morning m'lady.
9 (19.6%)

*Grumble grumble*
4 (8.7%)

It is so not morning.
14 (30.4%)

Fuck today.
7 (15.2%)

Fuck you.
6 (13.0%)

Gay.
9 (19.6%)

Hetero.
7 (15.2%)

Hungry.
8 (17.4%)

Chapped.
8 (17.4%)

Republican.
1 (2.2%)

Swine flu.
5 (10.9%)

Pro-abstinence.
2 (4.3%)

Lactose intolerant.
6 (13.0%)

Me.
5 (10.9%)

You.
14 (30.4%)

My mom.
2 (4.3%)

Lincoln.
2 (4.3%)

Space.
23 (50.0%)

Annoying
2 (4.3%)

Lumberjack's Favorite
5 (10.9%)

Insta-tent means less work on camping trips
7 (15.2%)

Gives me direction!
18 (39.1%)

Amusing
9 (19.6%)

Good chiropractic treatment for my partner
5 (10.9%)

ONE
2 (4.3%)

I DON'T SEE HOW THIS IS BETTER THAN TOILET PAPER
7 (15.2%)

I AM FEARFUL OF PRESSURIZED WATER IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO MY ASSHOLE
11 (23.9%)

I AM SO WAY INTO PRESSURIZED WATER CLOSE TO MY ASSHOLE
13 (28.3%)

AWESOME
13 (28.3%)

I'll call you!
3 (6.5%)

I'm lame, you call me!
6 (13.0%)

I don't really miss you I just felt socially obligated to express that token sentiment
1 (2.2%)

I'll booty call you the next time I'm drinking!
5 (10.9%)

I'll do some sort of indirect internet or text-based psuedo-communication with you in the indterminant future!
17 (37.0%)

I'M IN YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW
4 (8.7%)

I'M IN YOUR PANTS RIGHT NOW
7 (15.2%)

I am busy and unable to plan a date, but miss you nonetheless!
3 (6.5%)

You are dirt to me.
0 (0.0%)

I amuse myself the most
12 (26.1%)

You amuse me the most
6 (13.0%)

Family Guy amuses me the most
1 (2.2%)

The Jonas Brothers amuse me the most
1 (2.2%)

Zach Galifianakis amuses me the most
9 (19.6%)

AIDS amuses me the most
1 (2.2%)

Penis.
16 (34.8%)

Inside me
6 (13.0%)

Away from me
4 (8.7%)

On my pastor
12 (26.1%)

On my face
1 (2.2%)

On my tits
7 (15.2%)

Somewhere in or around my navel
5 (10.9%)

OMG GROSS
4 (8.7%)

Fuck you, Ashley
2 (4.3%)

Jizz-free jealousy
5 (10.9%)