| I JUDGE YOU |
[Sep. 15th, 2015|09:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Journal is primarily friends only since I talk about shit only they would care about, and show parts of my body only they would want to see. Comment to be added!
*Psssst! If you're already my friend you're still on-board, kids. I'm just making sure n00bs have an in as well!* |
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| UH OH YOU GOT XANAXED |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|08:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Here's a video from when Asa took me to my cervical slicing.
I am completely drugged up on Xanax in order to prepare myself for the massacre.
Be advised, it is totally... a big deal. |
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| Spanish Fly |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|11:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Esther: ashhhh
Esther: buenos dias!
Ashley: hola tia
Esther: hola loca!!!
Ashley: la loca eres tu!
Esther: ya te has comprado un dildo?
Ashley: hahaha
Ashley: ya tengo demasiados
Esther: jajaja
Esther: algun color no tendras...
Ashley: haha si
Ashley: me lo mandas?
Esther: dimelo!
Ashley: quiero uno que huele a chorizo
Esther: jajajaja
Esther: por aqui se lleva mas el de sabor a jamon serrano... pero si quieres el del olor a chorizo te lo busco
Ashley: eso suena mejor
Ashley: a lo mejor hago una sopa de consolador
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| anything goes |
[Oct. 26th, 2009|12:06 pm] |
Ash: people need to respect me and treat me well, otherwise they do not deserve my company
suxxdonut: wow! i want THAT tattood!
Ash: i have a needle and some black licorice
Ash: let's make this happen
suxxdonut: hahahaha
suxxdonut: WHIP IT IN ME
suxxdonut: im gonna cut it out on my back
suxxdonut: and you rub in the lickrish
Ash: ha "whip it in me"
Ash: indiana jones says "oh will i ever!"
suxxdonut: rawr! drop that carving on my pressure plate
suxxdonut: drop that golden idol into my ancient crevasse
Ash: CALL ME DOCTOR JONES
Ash: OH GOD THROW ME THE IDOL
Ash: THROW IT THROW IT
suxxdonut: WATCH OUT GIANT BALL |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|03:00 pm] |
Ash: what the hell is this
binaryslacker: Yo Majesty - Booty Clap
Ash: yeah i see the title
Ash: why'd you send it to me
binaryslacker: Couldn't find a reason not to.
Ash: reason enough
binaryslacker: the live show has male dancers doing the booty clap. I wish i could do the booty clap
Ash: i can kinda do it
Ash: but it makes people afraid
binaryslacker: People need to get over it and embrace it.
Ash: dude this song rules
Ash: i'm all over it
binaryslacker: <3
Ash: oh god it's on a loop
binaryslacker: most booty claps are
binaryslacker: just happen over and over again they go up down little to the left up little to the right down and so on
Ash: I see you are a booty-clap physicist
Ash: I considered that as a major but figured psychology would just naturally lead into it
binaryslacker: if only I finished school and didn't get addicted to the booty claps I designed.
Ash: our studies are our crosses to bear |
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| New Tattoo |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|03:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Ash: what do you think of this as my tattoo font? http://www.dafont.com/blazed.font
caplatter: ...
caplatter: do you want my honest opinion?
Ash: yes
caplatter: YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT.
Ash: OH GOD I KNEW IT
caplatter: FUCK CONVENTION.
Ash: you almost said don't do it cause you were jealous |
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| Serious Game Discussion |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|12:08 pm] |
suxxdonut: lololol GAME NAMES ARE SO DIRTY
suxxdonut: Haunted Mansion Ball Blast
suxxdonut: Bounce Out Ball-O-Rama
Ash: that better be a game
Ash: cause i've been playin' it
suxxdonut: KA GLOM
suxxdonut: bahhahahahahaha
Ash: they should just call it Haunted Mansion Splooge Blast
Ash: skip the formalities
suxxdonut: Haunted Mansion Pearl Necklace
suxxdonut: for a touch of class
Ash: for the upper crust gamer
suxxdonut: bahahahahaa
suxxdonut: i cant stop lauging about service snakes
Ash: haha whaaat
suxxdonut: http://www.king5.com/localnews/stories/NW_091809WAB-service-snake-shelton-KS.19223b6e3.html
Ash: haha he "fears losing his service snake"
Ash: HOW IS HE DIFFERENT FROM EVRY OTHER MAN I ASK YOU
suxxdonut: bahahahahahahaahhaa
suxxdonut: OH MY SNAKE WILL TELL ME WHEN IM ABOUT TO FIT
Ash: he'll tell me when I'm about to Mansion Ball Blast
suxxdonut: ahahaha i just snorted across teh cube farm
Ash: ha, well done
suxxdonut: they all know im doing something dirty now haha
Ash: theyre jealous no doubt
suxxdonut: putting ttheir phones on vibrate
suxxdonut: or 'consolodore' i should say
Ash: haha
suxxdonut: i bet in italy its called a 'sin wand'
Ash: haha
Ash: it's called an olive garden breadstick
suxxdonut: bahahahahahahahahaha
Ash: haha i just cracked myself up
suxxdonut: ALL I CAN EAT
Ash: hahaha |
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| Kitty with a Sweet-Tooth |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|10:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Uh-Oh
Someone got CatNip Donuts this morning.
Oh noooooooooooooooo
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| Comic Envy |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|03:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Also:
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| Christina is coming to visit! <3 |
[Oct. 5th, 2009|07:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
caplatter: i'm such a glutton for punishment
caplatter: god my ass hurts
Ash: whoa are those two last comments related
caplatter: no, i went on a long bike ride
Ash: too bad for you
caplatter: i know |
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| Shopsins has a place in my heart |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|09:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
I think that
I like Killing Flies
is my new favorite documentary.
It's follows the Shopsin, family-owned restaurant in New York...
up until its untimely and permanent retirement.
It's streaming on Netflix and you absolutely have to watch it,
especially if you love good greasy food and foul-mouthed Jews as much as I do.
Totally charming film.
Sad I'll never experience a debilitating food coma under its roof. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|03:23 pm] |
meg: what is the news?
Ash: i'm watching vintage porn!
meg: OMG, MY FAVORITE FLAVOR
Ash: there's this documentary called indie sex
meg: that wasn't supposed to be in caps,oops
Ash: has all these really interesting commentators
meg: joss whedon
meg: steven spielberg
Ash: adolf hitler
meg: matt groening
Ash: oh happy 9/11 btw
meg: yes, happy patriot day
Ash: there is a michael jackson singalong at central cinema tonight
Ash: to commemorate a more important loss
Ash: MEMORIAL TRUMP
meg: i am thankful for the valiant attemps of our nation's brave firefighters
meg: as well as those by hallmark to profit from the deaths of thousands
meg: memorial burn
meg: straight-up memorial snap
meg: so i have this new job two days a week, answering the phone for a "talent agency"
meg: someone paid bank for a gene simmons impersonator the other day
meg: how retarded
Ash: god
Ash: worst choice ever
meg: right
Ash: hi we hired a child rapist for our party
Ash: ENJOY HIS TONGUELY WAYS
meg: haha
meg: asdfshagd
meg: she needs female clowns
meg: if you know any
Ash: dude
Ash: isn't that what we are?
Ash: da dum ching
meg: srsly
Generated by im2html. |
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| Comedy Gold |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|01:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Can't wait to see A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, Martin Starr is such a babe. He gives me a throbbing nerd boner.
In other news, everyone needs to watch Party Down, immediately. The most amazing cast, ever. |
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| Reliving Old Saps |
[Aug. 14th, 2009|02:44 pm] |
me: this is a relatively disturbing spam email subject: "You can be the father for all the hung men out there!"
Vincent: and you CAN, ashley! just follow your dreemz!
Vincent: that's the body of the message, no doubt
me: i'm not ready to be a daddy, not even to a slew of huge penises
Vincent: agreed. i hope you're into friendly cuddles
me: i just hate that word, I enjoy the activity
me: cuddling as a word creeps me out a little, I think that means i've been to Burning man too many times
Vincent: oh, yigh, are they into bandying about the c-word there?
me: i want to make up a new word
me: like smushing
Vincent: omg. yes. that.
me: or jabberjocking
me: i like burrowing my head into various crevasses
me: that should be called affectionate cannonballing
me: or lovebunting
Vincent: i'm tirelessly affectionate. glad i'm in good company.
Vincent: lovebunting ftw
Vincent: fluffbuffing
Vincent: hm. maybe not.
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| Donut Law |
[Aug. 11th, 2009|12:33 pm] |
Ash: i just ate a maple bar with black coffee
Ash: i am such a cop
caplatter: HAHAHA
caplatter: num
Ash: yeah it was fantastically satisfying
Ash: i should tell Vince to dip his penis in maple
caplatter: ooh, delicious *and* exciting!
caplatter: tell him you'll wear your cop uniform
Ash: haha
caplatter: or even better!
caplatter: he should wear it
caplatter: Hot Cops!
Ash: GLAZED OFFICERS OF THE LAW
caplatter: and he can be like, EAT that donut, you lawbreaker you
Ash: hahaha
Ash: DIP IT IN YOUR COFFEE POT
caplatter: i'm trying to think of what he could use the handcuffs for
Ash: he could force feed me old fashioneds
Ash: I WONT STOP TIL YOU SURRENDER VIA SUGAR COMA
caplatter: hahaha!
caplatter: man
Ash: COMPLY COMPLY! OH YEAH YOU LIKE TO COMPLY DONT YOU
caplatter: you guys could record it and sell it as foodie porn!
Ash: fuck yes
caplatter: next episode: bacon wrapped testes with a roumelade
Ash: hahaha
caplatter: i think it would sell gangbusters.
Ash: oh for sure |
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| Christina is Hilarious |
[Aug. 11th, 2009|11:46 am] |
caplatter: i quit sugar and smoking yesterday.
Ash: wow a whole 8 hours?
Ash: i am so proud
caplatter: it's pretty big.
caplatter: this is like the 45th time i've quit smoking this year
caplatter: but the first time i've thought to combine that with sugar
caplatter: because sugar is the badz.
Ash: yeah its evil
Ash: BUT ITS EVIL SEDUCES ME EVERY TIME
caplatter: that's how it plays.
caplatter: it's like, hey red hair, i like the way you look at me
Ash: haha
Ash: DONT YOU WANT ME INSIDE YOU
caplatter: you know it'll be good
caplatter: you'll feel me coursing through your veins
Ash: YOULL LOVE THE HIGH HIGHS AND THEN WELL GET LOW GET LOOOOWWW
caplatter: mm, girl, don't you look good
Ash: GIRL, ARE YOU A DIABETIC?
Ash: CAUSE I'D LIKE TO PUT YOU IN A COMA
caplatter: i can't help but imagine what you'd look like with me inside of you
Ash: hahaha
caplatter: wanna taste this magic stick?
Ash: OOH GIRL DO YOU LIKE FUN DIPS
caplatter: HAHA
caplatter: oh, that's the one that would get me.
caplatter: i'd be down for the count for sure
Ash: youd be like omg i DO like fun dips, SHIT
caplatter: SHIT YOU FOUND MY WEAKNESS |
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| Worf Smiles |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|12:11 am] |
Ash: do you have that photo of worf smiling?
pzldiethx: oh the worf thing i used lj pix apparently
pzldiethx: http://pics.livejournal.com/warrend/pic/00001r97
pzldiethx: but it is so wonderful!
Ash: HELLO NIGHTMARES
pzldiethx: ahaha
pzldiethx: never
pzldiethx: look how pleased he is!
Ash: I AM PLEASED WITH YOUR TERROR
pzldiethx: hahaha
pzldiethx: diana troi was down with that shit
pzldiethx: why cant you be?
Ash: well yeah she loves chocolate
pzldiethx: let a half klingon brotha do what he do
pzldiethx: he is the fang-toothed obama of the future |
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